So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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