we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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