Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
