Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
