You work out of a Hotel?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
