i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
