So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
