forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
