i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
