why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
