Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I need a burrito and a hug.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
