You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
