Your tits are I can't wait for
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Sober January is a disaster.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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