now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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