dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize