i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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