I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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