Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
