I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
