haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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