My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
