bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
