We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
