sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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