This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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