Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
