I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
