Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize