Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
then he tried to convert me to islam
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize