I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
