Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
