I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You are a genius and a whore.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
