I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
