My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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