walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
