A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize