everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
