Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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