What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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