playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
