just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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