if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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