If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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