Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
