some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
