WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
