Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
