My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
