Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
