Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize