this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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