shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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