Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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