Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
