You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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