I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
