My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
