Buhtt sex?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
