Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
