Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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