piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
