You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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